* I sank down in my tent, bone weary and exhausted. Donovan Wilson was slowly killing every male in my pack. I'd lost so many good soldiers. I needed to plot out tomorrows plan but instead, I sat on the floor. I needed Gina Leigh Jericho back. She knew military strategy better than anyone else in my regiment. My mind drifted back to that fateful day in the pass, watching her as the bullets ripped through her tiny body. I knew I had died a million deaths as I raced down that pass, my men covering me as I slid down next to my best friends baby sister. The snow was falling heavier so the blood seemed more vibrant. We'd gotten her into the Humvee and that's when they'd told me her injuries were severe. She had tried to stop them, but her attempts were lame. We'd lost her twice on the way to camp, where I'd radioed ahead for a medevac. Even now, remembering her eyes open, dead, as they worked to resuscitate her just made me hate myself more. I'd done the right thing, walking away. We weren't mates. But there was passion there. I could scroll through my phone and see the dozens of calls, the text messages, most left after I'd drunk myself into a stupor. Gabriel Jericho would never forgive me. He'd most likely kill me when he found out. I worried about Gina. Had she walked out of the hospital?

* I sank down in my tent, bone weary and exhausted. Donovan Wilson was slowly killing every male in my pack. I'd lost so many good soldiers. I needed to plot out tomorrows plan but instead, I sat on the floor. I needed Gina Leigh Jericho back. She knew military strategy better than anyone else in my regiment. My mind drifted back to that fateful day in the pass, watching her as the bullets ripped through her tiny body. I knew I had died a million deaths as I raced down that pass, my men covering me as I slid down next to my best friends baby sister. The snow was falling heavier so the blood seemed more vibrant. We'd gotten her into the Humvee and that's when they'd told me her injuries were severe. She had tried to stop them, but her attempts were lame. We'd lost her twice on the way to camp, where I'd radioed ahead for a medevac. Even now, remembering her eyes open, dead, as they worked to resuscitate her just made me hate myself more. I'd done the right thing, walking away. We weren't mates. But there was passion there. I could scroll through my phone and see the dozens of calls, the text messages, most left after I'd drunk myself into a stupor. Gabriel Jericho would never forgive me. He'd most likely kill me when he found out. I worried about Gina. Had she walked out of the hospital?
"You're not doing yourself any favors." Cantwell passed me a flask.
"Never do." I swigged it and coughed at the comforting burn. Junius Cantwell had been in my life for as long as I could remember.
"It was my fault, you know. She was trying to get me out of that pass."
"We never should have been in that pass!" I leapt up, pacing the small space. "Jericho warned me, and I didn't fucking listen. I'm a shitty Alpha. Maybe its best if Wilson takes the pack."
"You'll lose your head, Quinn. And no one wants that." Cantwell was right. But I hated it anyways.
"Better than mating someone you hardly know." Cantwell shrugged, and I jerked the flask away to swig it down.
"You don't have to accept her."
"It was a signed decree between her parents and mine. It would be dishonorable at best not to accept her."
"And sleeping with a fellow female soldier, who just happens to be the baby sister of your best friend was honorable?" There wasn't any judgement behind the statement, and I knew it. He was right.
"No. It wasn't." I couldn't tell him how bright Gina's fire burned and how it had drawn me in like a moth to the flame. "It's over now. She needs to move on. Find her mate. Her happiness."
"Have you heard from her?"
"No. Dead silence from her." I wanted her back in my regiment. You liar my own conscience hissed. It wasn't just the regiment I wanted her in.
"In this day and age, decreed mating's do not have to be accepted, and I think it's rare for anyone to view you any differently, if you chose not to accept."
"Cheryl would be humiliated in front of the whole pack." I couldn't allow that either. I thought about the little wolf slated to be my mate. She wasn't ugly by any means, but she wasn't beautiful either. And it wasn't her looks that decided that for me. I felt like everything with her was just an act. From what she said to how she behaved.
"Quinn. Don't do something because someone else's happiness is more important than your own. That got your Father killed. As his beta, I fought more than one fight for him. The final fight I wasn't aware of because it came from a friend. Heed my advice. As your Beta, do what's best for you and the pack." He patted my shoulder and left my tent. I swigged more from the bottle. Guilt was a heavy burden. I pulled out my satellite phone and dialed Gabriel Jericho's number, just like I had done before. I hesitated. And I knew I hesitated because the consequences when I came clean were ones I wasn't quite ready to deal with. I kept drinking, and I was going to keep drinking until that redhead left me alone for the night. *